Look, I know you’re busy and all what with having to figure out how to best ration me out of the health care system when I get old and dumping even more money into large burning pits, but you’re starting to look like a massive tool and I wanted to point out that you might want to actually start acting like an executive and talking to the people in charge at BP instead of, you know, trying to come up with a really pithy turn of phrase to describe your outrage or sending Eric Holder and his crack team of undersea lawyers down to the gulf to clog the leak with lawsuits.
Seriously: even Chris Matthews – who seemed to be physically attracted to you for quite a while there – is now openly questioning your competency:
Don’t forget – your entire campaign was based on the supposed desire to establish open, competent governance that was responsive to the people. It’s kind of hard to argue that the “open” and “responsive to the people” parts didn’t go up in flames with the Obamacare fiasco, and at this point any faint hint of competency that still remains attached to your administration is pretty much in tatters. And that’s me being very generous.
If you’re looking for someone who might be able to give you some pointers on a way forward now that you’ve pretty much botched this thing as badly as humanly possible, might I suggest…
Please, sir, for the sake of the Gulf residents, reach out to experts who have experience holding oil companies accountable. I suggested a few weeks ago that you start with Alaska’s Department of Natural Resources, led by Commissioner Tom Irwin. Having worked with Tom and his DNR and AGIA team led by Marty Rutherford, I can vouch for their integrity and expertise in dealing with Big Oil and overseeing its developments. We’ve all lived and worked through the Exxon-Valdez spill. They can help you. Give them a call. Or, what the heck, give me a call.
I know, I know – calling her for help would be unthinkable. But a couple of weeks ago, a massive gusher of crude spewing from a destroyed well and fouling beaches from the Mississippi delta to Panama City (and potentially far beyond) was unthinkable, right? And you have, in the past, expressed a willingness to talk with evil people.
C’mon, man. You represent the party that believes that government can solve any problem, anywhere, any time. And heck, this problem is actually happening in a place that the Federal government has responsibility for. That’s you, by the way. You’re the chief executive of the Federal government. You’re looking for someone’s ass to kick? How about you get off your ass and start moving some oil containment booms into place? Work with BP and get some supertankers out there to suck up the oil. DO SOMETHING. Because every day that goes by makes you look like a bigger ass, ripe for the kickin’.